Tis the last day of the first decade of this millennium

The title of this post is about half of a Twitter tweet. If you’re still with me, I appreciate it. And by appreciate I mean my heart is yours forever.

If you’ll bear with me, I will try to justify my long and descriptive title and take a look at the past 10 years. However, this won’t be another turn of the decade rundown of the economy and dead celebrities. I’ve picked a one of kind subject: me. My blog – my choice. Not to worry, this will be short and painless (unless you like pain, in which case I am open to suggestions. But I digress).

For me, this has been a decade of coming out. Alas, my closet was different than the usual gay one (that’s not to say that I’m not gay. I am. As gay as a purple rainbow pooping unicorn). I did not hide from my sexuality. I hid from life. My closet was as dark as it was familiar and the key was handed to me as a child. I did not know any better, and for the longest time I believed I would end my life in that closet, sooner or later.

I tried to get out. The new car my ex-therapist bought is a testimony to that. Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of people (God bless them) who benefit from therapy. But ultimately, for me, it was wrong. The never ending probing of the past led me deeper and deeper into my murky little closet. The constant investigation of what this one said and what that one did allowed me to see only that: the past. No present, and certainly no future. On the up side, my said ex-therapist was quite a hotty, so she wasn’t a complete waist of my time.

Then something happened. I realized that the gloomy closet, cold as it was, did not operate like a fridge. I could open it from the inside, by myself. In fact, that was the only way to do it. Please believe me when I tell you it was as simple as that: I reached forward, pushed the door, and I was out. It felt so good; I wasn’t blinded by the light, nor dizzied by the fresh air. I just felt good. This was, literally, my coming out to life party. However, trust me when I tell you there was no puffy dress involved (nor will there EVER be one).

An old Master taught his students to always be aware and concentrate on what it is they were doing in each particular moment: if you’re reading the paper – focus on that;  if you’re eating a sandwich – let that be the center of your attention. A few days went by, and one of the students saw the old Master sitting on a park bench, reading the paper and eating a sandwich. Perplexed he approached him and asked “why aren’t you living according to your teachings?” The old Master looked at him and answered peacefully “That is precisely what I am doing. I am fully concentrated on what it is that I am doing right now – reading the paper AND eating a sandwich”.          

More times then not, things are really that simple. I am no Master. I’m barely a student. And I don’t know the secret of life. But I know this much: be happy and thankful and try to do good by others. This might just be the secret to life.  

This will be my new blog – home. You are welcome to visit anytime and I hope you’ll stick around and grow to love it. As for me – like I’ve stated above, I already love you.

Happy New Year.

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